RAWR!

i hesitate to even mention it--i don't wanna jinx or over-inflate the process--but one of my dream jobs has just been advertised. i'm already dream-scheming up ways to be a stand-out candidate. maybe videotape myself presenting a captivating storytime while wearing a wreath of oak leaves?

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this halloween party pic is pretty blurry, but as andrew captioned it, "one gets the idea." for clarity's sake, he's costumed as elvis costello and i'm--not.

my brother joe turned twelve yesterday, leaving vacant the position of World’s Coolest 11-Year-Old.

joe-not-joey / now [mom, send me a better pic!]:

joey-not-joe / then:

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recent personal lows

1. indulging in a ten-minute pissy-hissy about the co-op never having enough scrubby sponges laying around when i do kitchen clean-up.

2. going to a friend’s to meet her four fostered kittens and then demanding a random snack of root beer and pickles.

3. appealing directly to my mother-in-law for help with a bank loan payment.

4. following up a luxurious, free, full-body massage* by saying “uh, how to i get out of this without you seeing me all naked? here, hand me that towel. and that sheet. don’t look. oops, i need help. maybe another sheet.”

* wouldn’t you like the same? then you should know that allie is looking for fresh bodies to practice her developing craft upon. if this information was presented in a personal ad format it’d go as follows:

Gawgeous SAF seeks M/F, all sorts n’ sizes, for general patting/pulling/pounding. Has own bed and lotion—you bring open mind. For friendship and, urm, that’s it. WLTM hairy, male or bumpy bodies espec.

let me know if you’ve misplaced allie’s contact info.

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i haven’t blogged in awhile because . . . well, because i’ve had too much time to blog. and too much time to sleep, too much time to read, too much time to do whatever i want. with plenty of time leftover to go into hysterics for having all this fucking time.

but yesterday afternoon i was offered a three-week temp gig, which recalibrated me into phew! mode. i like free time most when it doesn’t seem so dangerously infinite.

folks often seemed surprised (or even skeptical) when i report that mayor daley's political woes are not-so-indirectly affecting my getting even an interview with chicago public library. but, see? city-wide library systems are always at the mercy of city hall (and, okay, hurricanes).

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mildly depressing entertainment news

andy rooney (whose paperbacks my grandpa collected, and who i revered as a master humorist when i was 11) doesn’t care about blogs.

more-than-mildly depressing entertainment news

as meghan points out, peter sarsgaard has two movies coming out this week—both well-reviewed and undoubtedly captivating—but i won’t be able to see them. first, i’m stone broke. second, i’m fleeing the state (for MI or WI—i can’t remember which) to go camping all weekend.

devastatingly depressing entertainment news

lindsay lohan and jared leto (who are currently each other’s fuckpets) are planning to star in a movie about the murder of john lennon. which is simply a hemorrhaging of evil.

a belated spooky story from the beeb: "despite their royal status, the [lions] were not treated with ceremony when they died, instead being dumped--unskinned--in the [tower of london] moat."

obviously meaning the tower grounds must now be hauntingly prowled by bitter big cat ghosts! i'd buy tickets for that walking tour.

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my halloweekend was chock full of fun. on saturday night i attended a smashing party at sarah and gabe's: lots of talking heads, bleeding heads, crime scene outlines and frightfully well-frosted goodies. i went as a sudoku puzzle. margot remained just sober enough to solve me, and then got graciously drunk enough to let me eat part of her candy-necklaced costume. my favorite costume was brynn's remarkable "big bird with bird flu" (complete with beak-long thermometer and feathered claws gripping generic robitussin) and alison's brilliantly blechy "brain donor" get-up.

despite falling on a rainy monday, the actual 31st was surprisingly festive, too. i got home from the gym to find almost all of the co-op sitting down to a feast of hot, mulled cider, walnut-stuffed squash, and shortbread decorated to look like witch fingers. candles and pumpkins lined our long table, and several co-oppers had dressed up. i didn't even mind kitchen clean-up duty because ellie helped and even suggested we listen to rubber soul while we scrubbed. the evening was topped off in an appropriately creepy way: a bunch of us watched the exorcist for the first time. (and, whoahh, that really is one hellaciously shocking flick.)

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10/14 on this britishness quiz qualifies me for "a seat in the parliament," apparently. mmm, quite.